The Hardest Lesson Learned

The most difficult informal lesson I learned was one I learned because of my mother. I was born to teenage parents. They married young and then divorced after a short time. I was only three years old when my father and I moved into my grandparent’s home away from the city and away from my mother. My father felt that I would not benefit from a life in the Bronx at that time; he saw the community changing and did not like the changes he saw. I did not spend a lot of time with my mother, only every other weekend. My memories of these visits are mostly of spending time with my grandmother. Unfortunately my mother was more interested in drinking and doing drugs during my childhood. I spent times with my grandmother while my mother was in the hospital or simply in bed because she had either drank too much or too many drugs. When I was very young I did not know this is what my mother was doing. I just thought she was sick, which she was, but not how I thought at the time. When I was about 8 years old is when I have some more specific memories of my time with her. I remember her taking me to buy drugs and I watched her use those drugs. I also remember her drinking so heavily one day that she did not know where we were. At the time I was 12 and I was able to call my aunt who we were supposed to be visiting and tell her where we were. That was another weekend my mother spent in the hospital. Not only did I learn to never use drugs I also learned to cherish my children. What my mother exposed me to is nothing I ever want my children to be exposed to. While it is not an easy discussion to have with young children, they know a little about drugs and how bad they are. I have not shared mine and my mother’s experiences with my children yet. I do still feel they are too young to grasp what I saw. I also learned that my mother was very strong. When I turned 16 she stopped drinking and doing drugs. She finally took it seriously and never turned back. Unfortunately as I grew up, got married and had children my relationship with my mother faded. She does not know my children which makes me sad at times. However, she still has a lot of growing up to do, even after almost 20 years of being sober. For this reason I have decided that it is better to keep my children away from her… at least for now.

Non-Formal, Informal and Formal Learning Settings

My knowledge of the subjects I have learned have been developed mostly in formal settings. Learning about Photography, History, Spanish and 3D animation have all been in the classroom which I consider to be a formal setting. Learning how to juggle my many hats is more of a non-formal setting while taking online classes is more informal.

I feel that in formal settings I take my assignments and lessons more seriously. Knowing that a grade will be given at the end of an assignment or a semester weighs heavily on the importance of the task at hand. I have a lot of time invested in school and in the end I want to do well. When all is said and done, I will also have a lot of money invested in my education and do not want to waste it on having to retake any classes. These formal lessons are long term goals I am looking to achieve not immediate knowledge that I expect to understand.

Generally I prioritize my school work over my house work (just to use an example). At times I do wonder if this is the right approach. I can not leave my house upside down and in utter chaos while I’m sitting at the computer writing a paper. The upside down house leaves me sitting at the table distracted about the paper.  This more non-formal lesson of being organized and prioritizing when my studies vs. my housework should be done is an ever fighting battle. I continue to struggle with prioritizing when to do the laundry vs. the paper.  While the laundry does not have a deadline associated with it, we do need clean clothes to leave the house each day.  Life lessons are more non-formal in my opinion because they are specific to me and have to do with my environment. I do not learn about these lessons while listening to a lecture on The Civil War. It may be in the middle of the grocery store that a new life lesson hits me.

This is my 6^th online class at Marist. I also took a number of online classes through my previous employer. I even took virtual classes which were slightly different than the forum posting type setting of iLearn.  I would submit assignments directly to the teacher via fax or email.  This type of setting is more informal, although for me I do take it as seriously as a classroom setting. This alternative type of education allows for a mother of 2 children who works full time (me) to take classes that I need to complete my degree without having to adjust my work schedule.

Each setting has advantages and disadvantages. A formal classroom setting is how I learn best. Being immersed in classroom discussions each week is most effective for me. The down side for me is being in class 2 nights a week until 9PM. Simply put, it makes for a long day and I am exhausted by the time I get home those 2 nights a week. Non-formal lessons really do not have advantages or disadvantages, these lessons will happen no matter what. The lesson will have either a negative or positive connotation but I feel that the setting is neutral. What I like about informal settings is that I do not have to attend a class and can work at a different pace, not slower, just different. If I need to ‘go to class’ in my pajamas at 8AM, I can. If I am sick, I do not have to miss out on ‘class.’ However the down side is that at times I miss the interaction. There have been times when I have completely misunderstood assignments because there was no true discussion about said assignments.

While non-formal learning will happen every day for us, formal and informal settings may not. Even though I do feel that I learn better in a formal setting, I actually prefer a mix of the formal and informal classes. It allows for more flexibility for me and also allows for me to take 3 classes a semester rather than only 2 classes a semester.

Mark K. Smith, “Non-Formal Education.” 1996; 2001 Last update: September 3, 2009
http://www.infed.org/biblio/b-nonfor.htm (used only for clarification on the different types of learning)